Grammatical Things I am Fond Of

1. Semi-colons

Not enough people are aware of how to properly use such a wonderful thing. They enable you to connect two independent clauses without using a conjunction that are obviously related. You can connect words that would stand alone without it. Some call it a weakened period but I believe it is strong. A period could never hold two independent clauses together, with both sentences being grammatically correct. It�s just not capable of it. The semi-colon is one of the strongest of punctuations.

2. Hyphens

Hyphens are wonderful things when used in ways other than dividing words that do not fit in a justified line of type. It helps to avoid uncertainty of the reader. Without it used to make a compound of adjectives before a noun, it can be very hard to tell which words are modifying which. A hyphen will instantly make it clear. I, though, am most fond of using hyphens to divide the syllables of a word. My favorite word which uses a hyphen is to-day, which is no longer hyphenated.

3. Alliterations

Alliterations are common, in both poetry and prose. I am fond of them. They can add a very musical tone, making speech alluring. Alliterations, if done correctly, can make prose well-crafted. Entire sentences that contain all words beginning in the same constant sound are very lovely and attractive, at most times. Although, if one gets too caught up in making alliterations, the sentence or phrase can start to lose meaning in the effort to find words that begin in the same sound or letter.

4. Ellipsis

Most people know this one as �dot-dot-dot�, since it is three periods in a row. The �dot-dot-dot� will signify the omission of a word or phrase. It comes in handy when quoting something out of context that, since it is out of context, would not make sense without the omission of this word or phrase. Sometimes though, it will make me wonder what has been left out. I also like it used as to show a pause. It helps the flow of the words and sometimes helps create anticipation (I could have been entirely corny and put an ellipsis in the middle of anticipation). Moreover, it makes me giggle when people are reading out loud and say �dot-dot-dot� instead of pausing.

5. Transitional Words

After having a conversation with me and noticing my excessive use of furthermore and moreover, one may realize how fond I am of transitional words. They are strong, like semi-colons. They hold together ideas and things logically connected. Yet they are still able to help you make a transition! I like the strong ones, used the beginning of sentences, and especially the beginning of paragraphs. They seem rather sharp. When used in the middle of a sentence, they seem rather dull, somewhat like American cheese. Most important, they help maintain continuity and can be rather engaging.

Grammatical Things that Make me Frown

1. Apostrophes and Contractions

These just utterly piss me off. I think they are, for the most part, a useless form of lazy-ness. Some may think it helps maintain a flowing sound, but I really couldn�t care. They make matters confusing, instead of making things more certain, as grammatical things should. This is because of possessive nouns, such as its. It�s, in my opinion, should be the possessive noun and the contraction should never have existed. Hence, because of a contraction, we had to create an entire new word, lacking proper apostrophe, for the possessive noun (it�s). It�s just a waste. Then you have won�t. It�s annoying and stupid with misplaced apostrophes. Moreover, won�t makes people forget about the actual word wont. Contractions, �tis and sha�n�t not included, are unacceptable.

2. The Letter C

I have never been fond of the letter C, ever since I learned of it in first grade. I always thought of it as a thief. It does not make it�s own sound, merely steals that of k and s. Oh, I�m sure it has much history and such, but it is now obsolete. It merely confuses young children when they try to learn how to spell and what sounds letters make. Moreover, it looks like an O that wasn�t finished. The entire letter is just upsetting.

3. Comma Splice

A comma splice is one of the most annoying punctuation errors to ever exist. Please, it is very simple that a comma without a conjunction cannot hold together two independent phrases. You must use a semi-colon instead, for it has the strength and will to hold them together! Two separate sentences would also work. Just please, for your own sake, do not just get rid of the comma. It causes a very irritating run-on sentence. Commas don�t have the nerve to hold the clauses together.

4. Diagramming Sentences

If you have never been forced to diagram a sentence in school, consider yourself lucky. This is supposed to help you become a better writer, knowing the different parts of sentences and being able to diagram it. It can help you learn and become a better writer. Gertrude Stein even finds it be exciting. I believe that diagramming sentences only helped me to realize how much petty things in school were wasting my time. I worked at it and it did not help me to become a better writer. I think only idiots need to diagram sentences to write.

5. Incorrect Usage of all Grammatical Things I am Fond of

This is the most infuriating. You are taking away the meaning of such wonderful things, things that exist for a reason. Commas are not strong and punctuation is not hard to learn. You can add so much more meaning by using these correctly, yet instead, you sound utterly foolish! Your writing will not be well-constructed nor will it be aesthetically pleasing. It will become ambiguous and confuse the reader. If you want to try different things with punctuation, learn about it first. You are not e.e. cummings!