Kevin’s Story:
Kevin Brobeck is a very intellectual man. Many people don’t understand the complexities of his mind. He is very misunderstood. Throughout his life he has made many transitions from star soccer player to pothead extraordinaire to spelling bee champion to basketball player. Throughout his industrious life he has focused on the good things in life like Seinfeld, beer, McGuyver and sluts. When you see him he’s usually kicking back a few beers nodding his head to Slayer or Ice T. Many people this community change with the times to fit in or stab their friends in the back but as Brobeck says he just “keeps shit real”. But don’t thank him for the kind gestures he has done just let him know it was real or if you happen to be a hot bitch suck his dick. He was one of our favorite drinking buddies and true friend. So stay real or shit might go down.

G-Pa John:
If you talk to enough people around the Lancaster Ohio area you’ll probably hear the ladies talk about a pimp grandpa known as Grandpa John. If you look up “legendary” in the dictionary you’ll see his picture. He’s 79 and can still get it up. The women love him, the men fear him. He is a vocalist in Lemley’s, a local popular gospel trio. He doesn’t fuck around either. He’s known to tell the cops to “fuck off” and stick up for his beliefs, occasionally he enjoys a beer with his friends. He’s a fantastic fellow and everyone who knows him can second that.

Joe Stanley:
There’s a disturbing young man from around these parts. He’s known as Joe Stanley. He loves the cocknballs, he’s known for his shitting habits, and his sporadic masturbation habits. Thus far Stanley has been caught fucking his couch, a jar of peanut butter, a stuffed animal, and his little brother. “He creamed in it all I tell ya, it’s horrible” says Grandpa John on the situation. His greatets accomplishment is when he free styled with local punk band, The Stines, Stanley was given a mullet by Joe Hiles and Rik Juarez. His ass may be diseased, he may be dumb and perverted, but his rhymes and his former mullet is the shiznit. Note: If you see him wearing a clown mask seek cover soon.