Indeed. The pathetic Lancaster punk rockers—high school adolescence full of insecurities and a need to conform and rebel at the same. Too cool for their own damn good. Don’t even bother being friends with them. If you don’t fit the requirements for their strict criteria you better forget walking the streets to show off your cool plaid pants with them. It’s all about conformity and style. I don’t know of any high school girls who spend more time on their hair and outfits as these fashion punks do. Super Punks…that what they are.

But enough bias judgments on appearance, the main point here is the fact that 90% of these kids are hypocrites in every right. Don’t judge them, be open-minded, be creative; when in fact, they lack an open mind against any other kind of music besides punk—and not just punk in general, but very specific genres of punk. How can they not be judged when they dress the same with the same hair, pants, studded jacket and combat boots? That’s not very creative, either.

Another thing that causes this outburst is the music. Punk music is always going down a narrow tunnel that gets narrower and narrower with every band, album and song. Bands like the Unseen and The Casualties are good examples. Now don’t get me wrong, I like both of these bands—but it gets old—the same repetitive lyrics and chords. What’s wrong with being experimental and original? Why not try a reggae tune—I know, The Clash did that—but it’s better then the same damn songs over again. At least I can tell Clash songs apart well enough to remember the name of the song.

Local bands are the worst at this. It may take a year or so to develop a particular sound or style—every band does—but if you don’t try you’ll fade away real quick. You need to do things for yourself. You can’t expect to make a million dollars in your developmental stage. I know a band called The Fat Tones who experienced a week or so of popularity last year at the school talent show and let it go straight to their heads. Only playing gigs that rake in about $150 or more—which sadly enough is usually a school event or at a country club. But I’m not making fun here, they brag about this. Instead of trying to form alliances with other bands in town who could be a potential help. Especially for "real" shows and exposure to and audience who would most likely be interested in that kind of thing—instead of their usual crowd of parents, friends and whoever the hell saw them at the country club. Instead they mock and ridicule these bands (Freedom Fries, Charlestons, Shotgun Enema et all). Of course according to the bass player, Danny Boyer, none of this really matters. He doesn’t see any problem in selling out, and why not make as much money as you can? Charge $10 admission to a show—screw the fans. Of course if you really wanted that kind of cash why wouldn’t you be a lawyer? Too much work?

Now The Fat Tones are a very talented 6-piece ska band with strong horns, creative use of jazz drums, they probably have the most original bass player in town and creative use of ska chords. Their expectations are a little high and their overall sound isn’t that original. This isn’t 1994 anymore—ska isn’t the "thing" but with the kind of popularity they want to achieve, they may have a hard time finding it.

Now, my band—The Freedom Fries—aren’t too original ourselves. But at least we try to be experimental and creative. We make little, if no money at all, for shows. But our crowd consists of kids we don’t even know dancing to our music and getting into it. Whereas the most involvement in a Fat Tones show I ever saw were three large 9th grade girls head banging. Again, I’m not criticizing them for this reason, but their demand of high pay and refusal to want to play shows with other local bands doesn’t really offer them much more.

Both their image and style are more appealing than ours; it has a better chance at becoming popular, "mainstream", because it has what mainstream audiences want: something catchy, not too complicated, easy sing along and it can fade VERY fast. Their image is summed up into this: Fat kids playing ska music. Says it in the name of the band. Their theme song is about how girls won’t date them because they are fat. Clever and original image, but how will it last? We also have a similar problem with The Freedom Fries’ style. It’s based on current events, left wing politics and Bush-bashing satire. If he’s not re-elected (and I hope he isn’t), then we’ll have to redirect the angle of our image and lyrics. The Dead Kennedys went out with Ronald Reagan—not for that reason—but when you think of them, you think of the Reagan years. Our music has a bit more longevity. It has a basic foothold and recognizable sound, but we’re not afraid to change and try new styles.

Another band, which I briefly mentioned earlier, was The Charlestons. With all members having at least one band under their belt—at least I think so—they have to ability to just blow people away with a skill that only comes with experience. Being able to go out and bang through one Queers style tune after another is a simple, yet lasting talent. I haven’t heard them recently, since they replaced their drummer and added a new guitarist, but with another guitar it could only be more powerful.

We’ve played a few shows together and the mix of our styles really go well for those who stay to see both band—of course we’re not punk enough for the super punks—but again, who needs a bunch of people who have to pay so close attention to their facial expressions to make sure they look pissed? But anyway, if the Fat Tones fit between each band it’d make for real nice diverse show—of course narcissism and stubbornness won’t allow that.

Another well-known Lancaster band is Cause for Diversion. We’ve had our ups and downs with them as well but nothing serious. Just some "Rancid rip-offs" "Learn to sing on key" type of thing. Just back and forth ridiculing. The roots of this band have been around as long as White Trash (another Lancaster band not around anymore that had Even Parker and Sean Porter from The Charlestons. I don’t know where the rest of them are). They were originally called Psycho Babble, then Almost Stars and finally, with a complete reconstruction and a fresh start, Cause for Diversion.

I don’t know too much of The Hospital Bombers, but their name changes went like this: Protein Summer, The Impressionist, The Compressionist and The Hospital Bombers. I guess they go back and forth between the last two names. They’re more of a college rock band these days, with a White Stripes sound to them.

I keep hearing of new bands coming out of Lancaster. Shotgun Enema sounds like they may be the first to appear. Although Danny Boyer has also mocked them, they seem to have retaliated with what they tell me is a tune called "Fuck the Fat Tones". I hope they don’t become another casualty and wind up sounding like the Casualties—get it? Play on words. Cause if they do, they have an even worse chance of getting anywhere then The Freedom Fries, The Charlestons or The Fat Tones—and I’m not talking about "getting anywhere" as in MTV, I just mean being a legitimate band and being able to support themselves. Is making enough money to support yourselves selling out? Ask the Casualties. I’m sure they’re not flipping burgers at the local Wendys besides being in the band. But even if Shotgun Enema does sound like another Exploited; we need something like that around here. Something angry, raw and mean—because in this town of white, rich, conservative republicans, nothing irritates them more then a bunch of dirty offensive punks.

I myself am planning to do a side project with Chris Johnson on drums, Brock Ailes on bass and myself on guitar. We haven’t decided on a name but I can promise you that will be the most offensive name that we can muster up. We thought of Hitler and the Auschwitz All-stars but I think that may be pushing it a bit. So now I think we’re banking on Osama Bin Laden and the Suicide Bombers, Father Ailes and the Alter Boys or Lord Gorlok and the Cosmos Kids. So keep an eye out for that.

The Freedom Fries right now are attempting to do something Lancaster has never seen before. This will the first official Freedom Fries release with our image and name. The teaser with Free Chase Peterseim was a trial run—but this time the only thing you’ll be getting is our best, no excuses. Full production this time—all out. We are going to make a full length CD recorded by ourselves and how we’re going to go about it is like this: no lame material—all songs will be chosen—not just hurried onto the album. We’ll be even more experimental then we have been with different styles, instruments and techniques. For the first time, we’re not going to record everything we write, but a bunch of songs will be played and recorded and only the good ones go on the album. So be on the look out for that coming within the next few months.

Anyway, I think the sudden growth in the punk scene in Lancaster has something to do with the hatred of Alvril Lavigne and/or Good Charlotte or just the opposite—some stupid punk popularity contest, I don’t know. But either way, I predict a quick two or three years of jocks in Germs shirts and girls with "I heart Punk Rock" buttons then POOF! Gone again for another couple of years. Musically, Lancaster still isn’t great, but better then it has been. So let’s hope we can get some good original music to the needy.

To sum this all up, who cares, enough of this. Stop spending so much time fixing your hair and ripping your shirts. Stop playing shitty music. Go away.

-Jared Allen

September, 3rd, 2003